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| Sitting on the front porch, bags in hand.
Four hours went by, and where I was is where I stand.
"Sorry honey, not today. Daddy's just too busy."
Three years disappear, and still, where is he? Never learned to catch a ball,
Never anything at all.
You were never there, despite all the time you had.
You don't even care, that I didn't have a dad.
Another one of those things I just have to live through,
and as hard as it is : I forgive you. Sitting in the back, my head in my hands.
Used to be so weak, now I have the strength to stand.
"Sorry daddy, not today.
Another one is on the way." Never learned to catch a ball, but I found the greatest love of all.
He was always there, despite all the time He had.
I am no longer fatherless, for Jesus Christ is my dad.
Another one of those things I just had to learn,
To find a light in my future, and allow my past to burn. | | |
| Went to Chile's with my grandma and my cousin for lunch. Only one more day of class and I'll have my GED. :) This means I will have my license in no time and will be in college in the fall hopefully. Going to Olive Garden for dinner. Got my nails done. All in all, it's been a fantastic birthday. | | |
| Seventeen years of anger and hurt. This unrelentless storm inside of me is finally being acknowledged. Realizing that obviously my way of resolving my problems is not working what-so-ever. Allowing someone to get under my skin this way. I will NOT lose the ones who actually care about me because I cannot seem to let go of the past. Today, I'm letting go, and this is the LAST time I will allow you to disable my heart from loving. As hard as it is to say this, I forgive you. Not for you, but for myself. With each day that goes by, I am constantly reminded of the changes I am making in my life. I'm allowing myself to completely open up. Allowing my heart to feel and understand my emotions. One day at a time. That's all I can do. Not placing too much pressure on myself. LIVING LIFE. | | |
| Decided to start one of these things up again. It's almost one in the morning, so I definitely need to lay down here soon, but decided to write my first entry before logging off for the night. I normally forget to write, but I'm going to make an effort to keep up with this for once. Started classes at Augusta Tech today; Should have my GED in the next 3-4 weeks. Then I'll begin college. Pretty excited about that actually. I'm even more excited about finding another job and having money of my own to play around with. I really need to start saving again but at this point in my life, I say screw it. You can't take it with you so you might as well spend all that you have eh? Going with Mark [the boyfriend] to Sixflags this weekend. We're getting on the road around 4 when he gets off work Friday and staying in Atlanta for the night. We'll stay at Sixflags all day long Saturday. I'm going to look like a lobster. My birthday party is Sunday at my aunt's house. I'm only going to be having around fifteen people there; Didn't really want to have anything too "over the top". I'm not too big on huge parties. She has a pool and everything, so it should be nice to be able to lounge around and see everyone. Everyone have a nice night/morning. | | |
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